You are viewing [info]a0upperdown's journal

My Confessions [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
a0upperdown

[ website | a0upperdown ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Hello! [Aug. 27th, 2005|03:38 am]
[Current Mood |tiredtired]
[Current Music |Incubus-Drive]

Hello,

Is anybody out there?



Anyone?
Link2 comments|Leave a comment

Exahle... Another wasted breath, again it goes unnoticed. [Jan. 10th, 2005|11:35 pm]
[Current Mood |crushedCrying Game]
[Current Music |Dashboard Confessional- This Ruined Puzzle]

I'm really suprised how long I lasted. I was really strong untill just a few muinits ago I have no clue what happend. I remember we used to say that we were going to go out at night and look at the stars. We'll never get to do that now... I think thats the worst part, all my dreams involving are crushed. At night I would dream of us loving eachother forever. I'm sure this is typical but it feels so genuine I really loved you.. I mean it could have lasted untill i died and I wouldn't have cared how we looked or anything as long as we were healthy and together. I mean it. I thought about it alot. It feels like you don't want anything to do with me. It seems like your always mad. This is Forgery.

Exahle... Another wasted breath, again it goes unnoticed.
Link5 comments|Leave a comment

I Messed Up This Time. [Jan. 3rd, 2005|02:25 pm]
Ok so the deal is Christy and I broke up Tuesday, and she left for Monroe. I called her to wish her a happy new years and she was sleeping with Tim the exact thing I wanted to be doing with her on new years. A few frinds of mine were making out on the bed above me so it made me kinda depressed... no it made me really depressed a friend of mine called me, we ended up getting togther at like 6 am. We kissed and it made me feel better for the moment, and now I'm screwed. Oh yeah, I jhust found out there's more but I don't want to post it because I consider my self a good person for the most part. But if you would like to know IM me. I might tell you if I think you deserve to know.
LinkLeave a comment

If Winter Ends [Dec. 30th, 2004|05:02 pm]
[Current Mood |contentcontent]
[Current Music |Bright Eyes-If Winter Ends]

Charlotte, Sean, and I wen't thrifting today. I found a couple new shirts, I'll try to post pictures later. I found the new Bury Your Dead CD at Soundsmart for 6 bucks so I'm fairly happy. Anyway Lata Playa's.

"If Winter Ends"

i dreamt of a fever,
one that would cure me of this cold, winter set heart.
with heat to melt these frozen tears and burned with reasons
as to carry on.
into these twisted months i plunge without a light to follow
but i swear that i would follow anything
if it would just get me out of here.
and so you get six months to adapt
and then you get two more to leave town.
in the event that you do adapt we still might not want you around.
and i fell for the promise of a life with a purpose
but i know that that is impossible now.
and so i drink to stay warm
and to kill selected memories
because i just can't think anymore about that or about her tonight
i give myself three days to feel better
or i swear i'll drive right off a fucking cliff
because if i can't make myself feel better
then how can i expect anyone else to give a shit
and i scream for the sunlight or a car to take me anywhere
just get me past this dead and eternal snow
because i swear that i am dying, slowly but its happening
and if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere
just take me there and lie to me and say it's going to be alright
its going to be alright, yeah you worry too much kid,
its going to be alright.
LinkLeave a comment

One Foot In Front Of The Other [Dec. 30th, 2004|03:06 am]
[Current Mood |artisticartistic]
[Current Music |Bright Eyes- One Foot in Front of the Other Live in Dallas]

Christy and I broke up last night... It's a long story but the just of it is that she loves me enough to not want me to get hurt in the long run. Today I found a kitten and named him Charles, I figured that name was sophistacted enough. Oh yeah I got my hair chemically straightend the other day. I think it looks pretty sweet... I'll try to post pictures.








"One Foot In Front Of The Other"

If you walk away, I'll walk away
First tell me which road you will take
I don't want to risk our paths crossing some day
So you walk that way, I'll walk this way

And the future hangs over our heads
And it moves with each current event
Until it falls around like a cold, steady rain
Just stay in when it's looking this way

And the moon's laying low in the sky
Forcing everything metal to shine
And the sidewalk holds diamonds,
Like a jewlery store case
They argue walk this way, now walk this way

And Laura's asleep in my bed
As I'm leaving she wakes up and says,
"I dreamed you were carried away,
On the
crest of a wave. Baby, don't go away.
Come here."

And this kid's playing guns in the street
And one's pointing his tree branch at me
So I put my hands up, I say "Enough is enough.
If you walk away, I'll walk away."
And he shot me dead

I found a liquid cure
For my land-locked blues
It will pass away, like a slow parade
It's leaving, but I don't know how soon

And the world's got me dizzy again
You'd think after 22 years I'd be used to the spin
And it only feels worse when I stay in one place
So I'm always pacing around,
And walking away

And I'm drinking the ink from my pen
And I'm balancing history books up on my head
And it all boils down to one quotable phrase
"If you love something, give it away."

A good woman would pick you apart
A box full of suggestions for a possible heart
And you may be offended, you may be afraid
But don't walk away, don't walk away

We made love on the living room floor
With the noise in the background
From televised war
And a defeaning pleasure
I thought I heard someone say
"If we walk away, they'll walk away."

But greed is a bottomless pit
And all freedom's a joke, we're just taking a piss
And the whole world must watch
The sad comic display
If you're still free, start running away
'Cuz we're coming for ya
We're gonna read them out

I've grown tried of holding this pose
I feel more like a stranger each time I come home
So I'm making a deal with the devils of fame
Saying "Let me walk away, please."

You'll be free, child, once you have died
From the shackles of language
In measurable time
ANd then we can trade places
play musical graves
tell them walk away, walk away, walk away

So I'm up at dawn
Putting on my shoes
I just want to make a clean escape
I'm leaving, but I don't know where to
No, I'm leaving, but I don't know where to
Link4 comments|Leave a comment

Merry Christmas [Dec. 26th, 2004|03:07 am]
[Current Mood |happyhappy]
[Current Music |My Chemical Romance-Vampires Will Never Hurt You]

Today (yesterday) was the coolest day ever. I went to our local Kitchen and volunteered for the day then went home and hand christmas with my family. Later my grandmother told me I had a second cousin named Norma Jean.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Vampires Will Never Hurt You"

And if they get me and the sun goes down into the ground
And if they get me take this spike to my heart and
And if they get me and the sun goes down
And if they get me take this spike and
You put the spike in my heart

And if the sun comes up will it tear the skin right off our bones
And then as razor sharp white teeth rip out our necks I saw you there
Someone get me to the doctor, someone get me to a church
Where they can pump this venom gaping hole
And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat
And if they come and get me
You put the spike in my heart

And if they get me and the sun goes down
And if they get me take this spike and

Can you take this spike?
Will it fill our hearts with thoughts of endless
Night time sky
Can you take this spike?
Will it wash away this jet black feeling?

And now the nightclub set the stage for this they come in pairs she said
We'll shoot back holy water like cheap whiskey they're always there
Someone get me to the doctor, and someone call the nurse
And someone buy me roses, and someone burned the church
We're hanging out with corpses, we're driving in this hearse
Someone save my soul tonight, please save my soul

Can you take this spike?
Will it fill our hearts with thoughts of endless
Night time sky
Can you take this spike?
Will it wash away this jet black feeling?

And as these days watch over time, and as these days watch over time
And as these days watch over us tonight

I'll never let them, I'll never let them
I'll never let them hurt you now tonight
I'll never let them, I can't forget them
I'll never let them hurt you, I promise

Struck down, before our prime
Before, you got off the floor
Can you stake my heart? Can you stake my heart?
Can you stake me before the sun goes down?

And as always, innocent like roller coasters.
Fatality is like ghosts in snow and you have no idea what you're up against
because I've seen what they look like.
Becoming perfect as if they were sterling silver chainsaws going cascading...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh BTW tomorrow is my one year anniversary for my LJ. Date created: 2003-12-27 21:23:32
So if you (Speaking as if people read my LJ) would like you make me a Rose in Photoshop or in Paint that would be flip'n sweet. L8r G8r's
LinkLeave a comment

(no subject) [Dec. 23rd, 2004|01:10 pm]
[Current Mood |busybusy]
[Current Music |Sparta]



What Will a0upperdown Get ?
Xmas pressie predictor
Big wooly jumper knitted by j3ss99
Pair of Socks from spazmin
Bottle of Whiskey from misty911
Cd from banthestate
Something Cuddly from usedm1stak3s
Something Intoxicating from j3ss99
Something Silly from spazmin
Something Funny from misty911
Lump of coal from usedm1stak3s
Something Pretty from misty911
Something Shiny from spazmin
Something Naughty from j3ss99
Something Smelly from usedm1stak3s
Something Breakable from misty911
Something Useful from spazmin
Something not useful from banthestate
The Black and Decker Tool Kit from misty911
Livejournal account from usedm1stak3s
The Make-up Bag from j3ss99
Stack of DVDs from spazmin
Something Geeky from misty911

Username:

Made by _imran_ and beyond_bananas.
Hosted at Memeland


Link1 comment|Leave a comment

~Sad~ [Dec. 16th, 2004|09:29 pm]
[Current Mood |sadsad]
[Current Music |The GEtup Kids-Red Letter Day]

So Christy had to go to the hospital and she said she would call me when she got back. Well she left at 2:30 and still hasn't called. So you can imagine how wonderful I feel.
LinkLeave a comment

Freak~Out [Dec. 15th, 2004|04:32 pm]
[Current Mood |annoyedannoyed]
[Current Music |Death Cab For Cutie-President of What?]

I just got home and my DAD is freaking out. He's yelling about how I never take out the trash. Which is stupid because he has never told me too. he keeps saying I'm never going to be anything because i dont take out the trash and do things. That is most definetly gay because if I was on my own I would do it, I'm not stupid. I want to move away from here so bad, even if I move to Springfield, it's goig to be sweet when I go to collage.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, I just got a call from Christy. She said that she is having trouble with her heart again and may have to go to the hospital. :( Please pray for her.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sad rock! O.o
You are the depressed rock!


::Which rock personality disorder (from the Zoloft commercial) should you have? (Results contain pictures!)
brought to you by Quizilla

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Your Silver-Age Superhero Career
LJ Username
Your alias first-name is:
Your alias last-name is:
You can turn....
...into:
You team up with... _electric_
...to battle: Howard Stern
You petition to join: the U.N. General Assembly
Their response: they agree, but not before they all french-kiss you
You are best remembered for: your late-night talk show which ran for three whole weeks on Fox
Your heroic level: - 68%
This Quiz by sigma7 - Taken 19773 Times.
</a>
New! Get Free Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz



-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Your Emo Profile
name or lj-username
how often do you cry?
do you think you are emo?
favourite colour?
on meds?
lysol or pinesol?
number of emo shows you've cried at 25
your favourite emo clothing article / accessory "vintage" pair of jeans (i.e. fifth hand)
you are always ... searching for someone who is as "deep" as you
your emo genre
your most un-emo secret thinking boys don't / shouldn't cry
percentage of people who are more emo than you - 7%
This fun quiz by ninasoldada - Taken 1954 Times.
</a>
Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

Link1 comment|Leave a comment

~GOD~ [Dec. 13th, 2004|09:26 pm]
[Current Mood |lethargiclethargic]
[Current Music |Bright Eyes-A Perfect Sonnet]

So I went to church tonight. I saw all the people who care about me and if they don't I don't know becuase they do a good job covering it up. But I'm sure they really do care. Me Without You, Bradley and Whitie are comming back. Not all in one night but still... Come on! Anay way i suppose thats it.

"A Perfect Sonnet"

Lately I've been wishing I had one desire
Something that would make me never want another
Something that would make it so that nothing mattered
All would be clear then
But I guess I'll have to settle for a few brief moments
And watch it all dissolve into a single second
And try to write it down into a perfect sonnet
or one foolish line
'Cause that's all that you'll get so you'll have to accept
You are here then you're gone
But I believe that lovers should be tied together and
Thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather
and left there to drown
Left there to drown in their innocence
But as for me I'm coming to the final chapter
I read all of the pages and there is still no answer
Only all that was before I know must soon come after
That is the only way it can be
So I stand in the sun
And I breathe with my lungs
Trying to spare me the weight of the truth
Saying everything you've ever seen was just a mirror
And you've spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever
And now you are laying in a bathtub full of freezing water
Wishing you were a ghost
But once you knew a girl and you named her Lover
And danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summer
But autumn came, She disappeared
You can't remember where she said she was going to
But you know that she's gone 'cause she left you a song
That you don't want to sing
We're singing I believe that lovers should be chained together
And thrown into a fire with their songs and letters
And left there to burn
Left there to burn in their arrogance
But as for me I'm coming to my final failure
I've killed myself with changes trying to make things better
But I ended up becoming something other than what I had planned to be
Now I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers
And layed entwined together on a bed of clover
And left there to sleep
Left there to dream of their happiness
LinkLeave a comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]